"You look really skinny!"

My coworker Diana, who is probably the sweetest person I have ever met, runs up to me, gives me a huge hug and says, "You look really skinny, like you've lost some weight!". Bless her heart. THAT is what she said to me as I crutched into the ballpark with Joel by my side. On the very day I found out I was 35 weeks pregnant, someone tells me how skinny I look. How the hell am I supposed to play that one off? It took everything Joel had not to laugh, and everything I had not to cry. Naysayers read: I didn't look pregnant, AT ALL. Diana thought I looked like I'd actually lost weight.

Hindsight, we should have skipped this work function. But Joel really wanted go. Why wouldn't he? All you can eat MD steamed crabs and all you can drink beer? For free. This is where my jealousy came back and reared its ugly head. Instead of being jealous of Joel's ability to walk, now I'd moved onto being jealous he can drink beer and I can't. Especially now. Literally all I wanted after this insane day was a beer, a shot and cigarette. Not anymore for this Mama, apparently that is frowned upon. Anyway, of course we were going.  My mother met us at the gate and gave Joel a big hug. "Hi, baby daddy!" she says in a soft voice. It keeps getting more real by the minute. 

Sometimes my Mother is hard to read. I couldn't really tell if she was happy for us, or terrified for us. I did already know that hell would have to freeze over before she let anyone call her "Grandma". I mean we aren't even allowed to acknowledge her birthday. I asked her if I was allowed to eat the crabs that were being served and she said yes, so that was a relief. I make it to my table and over walks my sister. This was torture. I am VERY close with my sister. She is my BFF. I wanted to scream "I'm pregnant" at the top of my lungs! She was also one of the few my Mother hadn't spilled the beans to yet. Don't worry, that wouldn't last long. We are talking about MY Mother. I'm surprised she didn't have my news plastered up on the JumboTron at the game or have it announced to the entire ballpark over the loudspeaker to be honest.

Joel was being beyond sweet to me the entire time. He was constantly asking if I'm OK, if I needed anything, bringing me food and drinks (non alcoholic and caffeine free, gross). Basically being his amazing self times ten. Another co-worker, Patti, who I have known for years, later told me that during that ball game, she saw Joel put his hand on my lower back and whisper something into my ear and THAT is when she knew he and I were going to be OK. It's amazing how the smallest gesture can speak volumes.

My sister is intuitive when it comes to family. She knows me very well. She immediately figured out something was up and asked both Joel and I what was wrong. We kept saying "nothing" over and over again, but she knew better. I knew my Mom couldn't keep her mouth shut much longer, I could see it eating away at her. So she pulled my sister aside to tell her "something important". My poor sister didn't have a clue just how important that "something", or should I say, someone, was. I asked my sister what transpired between her and my Mother, so i'll let her tell the story:

"Mom pulled me aside and went on a rant about how family is important and that in times of crisis we have to stick with them. This was not making any sense and I was very confused. So I stopped her ranting and asked what was happening. "Jen is pregnant" she said. I burst out laughing. There was no way she was pregnant. Obviously, she would have told me. I thought to myself this must be one of those sick jokes my family plays on each other all the time. As I was laughing my mother grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me dead in the eye and said "she's actually pregnant, 35 weeks pregnant." I looked over at my sister, who by the way doesn't look even remotely pregnant, and Joel in disbelief. I walked right over to them and said that Mom must be kidding. My sister seemed frozen, she couldn't speak, so Joel said "do you see her drinking beer?". He was right, she DEFINITELY would have a side of beer with her steamed crabs. Just in case I still didn't believe them, Joel told me to text my father and ask if this was a joke or not. So I did, and he told me that yes, she was 35 weeks pregnant and that she was panicking so I couldn't. I read that, walked around the table, gave my sister the biggest hug and told her I was there for her and that I loved her and it was going to be OK."

First of all, why is laughing hysterically my Mother and Sisters go-to reaction? Rude. Secondly, it took my lack of drinking beer for my sister to believe I was pregnant? Great. And lastly, of course, my mother had already told my father. Why was I even remotely surprised.

Proud Aunt AKA "A-Nut Caroline"

Proud Grandparents AKA "Gramps" and "Sudie"